Well Mr. Blackbeard...the best way to keep your hair soft and shiney is to put laundry softner in it, that will make it soft...and to use lots and lots of gel to make it shiney. Then you'll be set...especially with picking up ladies...
Robotic Voice: You might consider that rough and matted hair is a direct result of a breakdown of hair cells on the molecular and atomic levels. This breakdown in hair cells can be a result of many things including natural radiation emitted from radon in the earths crust, solar winds, high energy cosmic rays, or other fast moving charged particles. A strong magnetic field would be ideal to shield your hair and your brain from the effects of these particles colliding with the particles that make up your body. I recommend taking the magnetron out of your microwave, strapping it to your head, and turning it on.
Oh no a pirate! Hahaha, DON'T RAPE ME BLACKBEARD! LOL! No just kidding.
It sounds like you're new to this BB, so here's my advice. It can be awkward at first so take it slow. Go at your own pace, and try different styles. Come in from different angles, I think you'll be really surprised at what a difference it makes. Get different friends involved. Don't be afraid to try new things and really dig deep. Sometimes its best just to get down on all fours and close your eyes. If things get out of control you can usually calm things down by rubbing in a bit of lotion. Be vocal and express yourself orally to help others. Remember, if you need anything, I'm right behind you.
Ciao! Call me!
I've used a few things in my hair. To be honest with you though... Nothing works quite as well as fresh deer blood. You see, I feast on deer, and critters from the forest. They're tasty. Mainly their blood. I like to drench myself in it. Because I'm a vampire. And vampires love blood. Because blood has iron in it. And iron makes me strong, fast, and incredibly sparkly. So take my advice BlackBeard. If you want to look suave for the prostitutes and hookers that you come across. Try some blood out. You won't regret it.
