Well...you're a swamp monster, or I mean thing...so...you will always stay hideous! Only the swamp women will ever want you...so sorry to break this news to you.
Becoming more handsome...you've come to the right guy. I'm all about handsome. My wife Lois loves my sexy bodice and my stylish clothing. See that's why I wear the same outfit everyday. So, here are some tips for you:
#1: Figure out what style of clothing the women like on you and BAM...you're already on the path of handsomeness. Just wear those clothes always after that and you'll never have to get up extra early to pick out your outfit.
#2: Also, wear big glasses, like me! They help you see things, like women.
#3: Never let a woman drive...even if she begs you too! They're awful, just awful!
#4 Get in great shape like me. They love the muscles as a matter of fact.
#5: Make sure that you have your woman shave your back...it may make you purr like a walrus, but the women love that noise. They could probably listen to it all day. It's just sexy to them or something.
#6: Fart daily when you're around women, they'll think it's funny. Women love the smell, too, and if your woman doesn't...she's not the woman for you Lad.
So take my advice and the women will be hunting you down for your handsome self. I bid you farewell. Thank you and goodbye.
Swamp man... You should look into getting a toupee or a wig. Make sure the color is black. Mainly because... you can pull it off like you're the hulk. The hulk gets to hit it up with many women. One thing that you may want to do, is grow out some facial hair. It'll make you appear to be more rugged. Which women love. Get rid of the swamp's hit all over your body. It's rather disturbing. Other then that though, you should be good Swamp man.
