I think at the end of New Moon when Jacob is talking to beautiful Bella and that filthy vampire Edward, that it should go a litte more like this:
Bella: Jacob I love you. Don't make me choose.
Jacob: I knew it. (Struts over and gives Bella a frencher.)
Edward: Waaaaah, I'm a big baby! And also I eat my own poop!
Jacob: SHUT YOUR FACE VAMP! (Turns into a wolf and eats Edwards face off.)
Bella: I know you're under age but lets go back to my place.
Jacob: Heeeo yeah.
Roll Credits. Crowd goes wild.
Suck on that Edward... filthy vamp.
Sequels make me poop a little
NOTHING. OMG Edward is the most romantic person EVER. That b*#)@ Bella doesn't even realize how lucky she is. She doesn't deserve him. Edward is so handsome and talented I just love him. Jacob is pretty cute too but Edward's parent's must be terrorists because he is the bomb dealio for realio. Plus he dresses so well and his messy hair is so cute! Edward, you can bite me any day!
