I think girls/women are really only impressed by one thing: the nude male body. So what I personally like to do is wear a big fur coat and go down to some place where you know she's going to be. The when she turns around and sees you standing there you just kind of let your shoulders back and the coat slips off and falls to the ground by your ankles. If this doesn't impress the girl/woman, then she's probably a lesbian. If this is the case, just get a sex change first and then follow the same steps. Good luck impressing your girl/woman.
I've got some suggestions on how to impress a girl.
1. You need to get to know the girl first... find out little things, like her favorite color, where she lives, how old she is, what type of activities she enjoys doing, and maybe even where she works. The easiest way to do this... is to follow her anonymously for months, maybe even a year. That way you can collect all the information about this woman that you need, so that you can impress her. Some individuals enjoy following the woman they want to impress to her house... where they will stand outside her window watching/studying her every move. To make sure you remember, make sure to bring a video camera, and film every movement as well. That way you can watch the videos over and over while she sleeps. So that you can get to know her better.
2. After months/years of watching her without her knowing... go to where she enjoys being by herself. Maybe a park where she reads a book. Or the beach where she walks along the shoreline, pondering life's deepest questions. This is where all the watching/studying her comes in handy, because you'll know exactly where to find her alone. When you do find her alone, make sure to appear... as if out of no where. Woman dig this move, they often times feel like you're a magician when a stunt like this is pulled. It will definitely impress... probably so much that she'll be startled and scream. But that's when you swoop down and cover her mouth with your hand, and whisper something cool like "Shhh... You're safe with me.". Her eyes by this point will probably start to gather some tears, because she'll be grateful for the safety that you're going to provide for her.
3. Always start off with honesty... after you have her silenced. You'll want to tell her how you've been watching her every move... for the months/years that you did. She'll probably have a look of surprise at this statement, and maybe even a look of disbelief. So you'll want to bring the video camera that you used and show her 5-10 minutes of her in her home that you recorded. She may start to scream again... maybe even yell... so have your hand ready to cover her mouth and whisper more comforting words like... "I love watching you... you're so beautiful... Everything is going to be ok.".
4. So by this point... if she's not impressed, then she's just crazy. Because if the woman that you're trying to impress isn't grateful for the time you spent getting to know her while she was unaware, then she may not be a girl worth getting to know. So by this point she should be calmed down. So you'll want to ask her something like... "Hey, would you like to go to dinner with me, and maybe even a movie?". She'll probably agree to go, and so there you have it... you can take her to her favorite restaurant and develop a relationship with her, that will last for the ages. And the story of how you got to know her will be a legend passed on from generation to generation by your children. Hopefully this helps you out Ben.
The best way to impress a woman is to obtain a wild river otter, break into her house while she is sleeping or away and put it in her bathtub full of water (also put some deadly snakes in the bath water for the wild river otter to eat so it won't die)
