Midget - Answers Hit Profile

Be Cool and Stay In School... NO MATTER WHAT!

Midget's Profile

Questions:

1. Anybody know how I can get some F#*(ing lucky charms?

2. What does it mean if you have blood in your stool?

3. Why are there no midgets in the twilight series? And is it possible for a midget to become a vampire or a wolf?

4. How can I get taller?

5. How do you make a date rape drug?

6. Do any girls find your little brother to be very attractive?

7. Is bug spray dangerous?

8. What are women for?

9. Why does my weight not change after I take a poop?

10. Why do tears fall from my eyes whenever I poop?

11. If someone were to shoot another individual in the anus with a 9mm. Would the bullet come out of the individual? Or would the bullet be lost inside the individuals torn up organs?

12. Did the Supermoon cause the earthquake and tsunami that occured in Japan?

13. What's your favorite book from your childhood?

14. Why is my asshole so wet? Does this mean I'm gay?

Answers:

1. Who ISN'T Ben Baldwin? That's the most common, generic, stupid name I've ever heard of. If I ever met someone named Ben Baldwin I would kick his shins and run in little midget circles around him so he couldn't catch me, also generating a smoke...

2. Haamid, Its really quite simple. God, our father, loves us and so he created a terrible, terrible hell and condemned us all to go there, and he also created a way for a select few to be saved. If you actually have the chance to learn of Jesus, and...

3. Apple Tampon... ewwwwweeeeeeeee.

4. I think that the obvious answer here is YES. Of course draino can cleanse your colon. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it will cleanse out all of the hair, poop, good and bad bacteria, flesh, and it may even remove your colon completely. My mom...

5. I wouldn't let either one of those hookers touch me with a 10 foot pole. In fact, one time Angelina Jolie tried to seduce me and I was like "Get off me b*#(," and she felt stupid. I just think its really important not to settle.

6. I would be able to get taller at will. So then I could walk around among people and they'd have no idea I was a midget. Hahahahah! Who's laughing now idiots?

7. I know what you mean. I don't believe in Jews. All of these fancy stories about the red sea and some magical far away land called Israel and holocausts... yeah right.

8. Believe it or not... I have yet to lose my virginity. My small stature has helped me with not losing my virginity. Mainly because I can escape just about anything, with my super midget speed. My advice to you Haamid, is to never allow someone to...

9. Children and Nuns... It disgusts the hell out of me really.

10. I love me crack cocaine

11. These Lady Gaga Bad Romance lyrics are dope. I love this song because Lady Gaga has the best lyrics. Bad Romance lyrics are especially cool because she's like "Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah" and "Roma, Roma-ma" and you can't beat that. ...

12. You just need to capture one... while he/she least suspects it. It's just like those kids who are always after my lucky charms. Someday they'll catch me and my charms, but not today friend... not today.

13. I will never be happy with any President of the United States... until the President of the United States... is a midget, like myself. And no, I do not think that president obama is doing a very good job. His presidency will never satisfy my needs,...

14. How to lose ten pounds in a week? Oh you think you're so funny. You think that you're so cool because you need to lose 10 lbs in a week when you know good and well that I can never lose 10 pounds because then I would weigh nothing. So let me tell...

15. Uh... what kind of question is this? Being a midget is the highest degree of glory an individual can obtain in this lifetime. Being short, weird, and agile opens the gate to a lifetime of fun and excitement and joy and drugs.

16. I personally enjoy curb checking cats, it's just what I prefer ok? Don't hate me because I'm short.

17. Time freezes... Everything stops... and for an instant the astronaut is in his own esoteric cosmology, which brings inner peace and self fulfillment.

18. A midget like me is created.

19. Play hide and go seek with it... except instead of seeking it, run for your life.

20. Ghosts are real for sure man. I'm consistently being haunted by them. They're always talking about how little I am. How I need to grow up. And how I look delicious. I don't know what their deal is... but that's just how it goes. I can't help it if I...

21. I don't even know if the President of the United States likes Celery, who do you think I am Exmm? Do you think I'm the almighty Gimli? No sir, I am only a midget on a mission. A mission of love and peace.

22. Something doesn't quite sound right here Jass. You should have had your menstrual cycle by the age of 8 or 9, I'm pretty sure that's when people have their first menstrual cycle anyways. If I were you I would try to force it. You need to get rid of...

23. I tried to use an air freshener once... bought it off of some shady guy in LA. He told me it would make my house smell like a rotting corpse... well sure enough, it did. I hung the air freshener from my ceiling fan and it spun round and round. It...

24. If a transvestite went missing, I wouldn't have to put their face on a carton of milk... Because that transvestite wouldn't be missing, that transvestite would be awaiting my arrival in my bed. Simple fact right there Tphrz.

25. Snakes see just about as well as midgets... which isn't well at all. In fact snakes use their tongue to see for the most part... just like us midgets. It's really cool actually... and if you don't believe me, the next time you see a midget, wait for...

26. Fuck tons of dudes.

27. I think girls/women are really only impressed by one thing: the nude male body. So what I personally like to do is wear a big fur coat and go down to some place where you know she's going to be. The when she turns around and sees you standing...

28. Man... if a 28 year old man was dating my 14 year old daughter, I would be forced to remove that 28 year old mans face, after killing him of course... and sew it onto my dogs face, so that it could serve as a reminder for the next man that comes...

29. Well... this is a rather simple decision for me. A bed bug sounds like a lot of fun. Not only could I sleep with it... I could also get buck wild and crazy with it. Spiders are just crazy... I would never want a spider as a pet... especially a...

30. I'm pretty sure it's normal to be sexually attracted to Boston Terriers man. In fact, I know I'm attracted to them. There's something about their four legs, and furry bodies. I can just picture myself running along the shore of some beach, or even...

31. Sexin'

32. Because they're niggers.

33. Humans have fingernails so that they can try to unscrew screws when they don't have a screw driver. But it doesn't work.

34. Lunchtime!? Robbing people!? Hungry!? Talking!? Yes it is lunchtime.

35. The laziest muscle in the human body (or the human race for that matter) would probably have to be your weaner. You need to exercise that shit.

36. I don't know who Boyd K Packer is but if he hates gay people then that is a sign that he is normal. Gay people are weird because they're different and the best way to deal with different people is to hate them, duh.

37. I'll tell you how many you handsome son of a bitch. Midgets like myself have approximately 1500 calories, assuming you eat every last bit. We're pretty tasty. But not nearly as tasty as some other pieces of meat you can eat for the same amount of...

38. I'd hang out in the Womens locker room, so I can see what type of stuff they're putting in their lockers.

39. Try uploading a naked pic of yourself first. If that doesn't work, then send some naked pictures of yourself to me and I'll try from here. If it does work, try sending some naked videos of yourself to me and we'll call it even.

40. Ain't nobody growing no mullets on accident. Mullets are hella sexy. In fact if I would nail anyone that has a mullet. That's proof right there on how sexy mullets are.

41. Hell yes I have feelings, I'm a very angry individual. ALWAYS SO ANGRY. Due to my height and stature.

42. In case you can't tell by my attire, I'm a country man. I don't rock in any kind of worlds you stupid whore face. I country.

43. I don't know how you could ever get married... I mean, what the hell swampthing? really? Since when were you Tyler Perry... that one black guy that makes movies about marriage and shit. Get out of my site before I curb check you with my sexy boots...

44. I've asked myself that question several times. I mean for my stature and the size of it... It just really makes me wonder "Is it even real?". It's not even proportionate to the rest of my body, the size is far bigger then expected. It...

45. First start by asking yourself this question... Why should I lose weight? After you've asked yourself that question and you've come up with an appropriate answer. Begin by walking briskly. I tend to walk briskly through grocery stores, shopping...

46. I would have to say your eyes behind those sweet ass glasses of yours. I'd like to pick me up a pair of them so I can pull off a pimp ass look.

47. That's a no brainer. Nose bugers you can get at just about anytime, making them nice for when you feel like munching on something, but they can get old. Eye bugers are not as common. They're more of a delicacy. So I'd have to say bugers that come...

48. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

49. I'd put up some cool ads, that can be served up on other sites, maybe with images of you touching your mustache and slowly lowering to your chest, and then even further to your belly button, then just as the image pans down to your crotch a little...

50. Talk about a fucked up night. I once had a night like that. Except it wasn't a dead horse I bought and shared drinks with. It was some 7 year old girl. I thought she was a little person like myself (honest mistake)... but boy was I wrong. We ended...

51. I remember finding a lump in my anus once. It was weird. After hours of examining it, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't just an ordinary lump. But it was in fact a baby. How it got in my anus is beyond me though. All I remember is going to...

52. I'm all for it... in fact I think the death penalty should be used way more often. And it should be done in many different brutal ways... such as curb checks, skinned alive, pencil through the neck, quicksand and being torn to pieces by some chimp...

53. I don't know about you... but amusement parks are anything but amusing. The last time I went to an "amusement park" I had to wait in line for about an hour and a half to ride one ride. And seeing as how I'm a midget, everyone just kept...

54. If I were a terrorist, I would probably target places that no one would expect. For instance, I would target some rural abandoned farm, and people would be like... "Hey why did that farm just blow up over there in terra haute for no...

55. Because you're too busy tasting my tongue lulz

56. I don't know about your nipples, but my nipples sometimes get excited when I think about crawfish latching on to hot dogs in the water. You probably think that's weird, but it's no more weird then your nipples getting excited over mcnuggets. I do...

57. I once tried lead paint out... Ended up not growing much taller then I am now. That's how we midgets all become midgets. Someone is like "hey come lick this paint, it tastes like lamb chops"... so right away anyone sane goes and licks it,...

58. I don't see why not. If you were driving anything but a pinto I would probably say no, it's not ok. But pintos allow such things. This one time I was driving in the nude down hollywood blvd just because I was in a pinto. A few of my friends were...

59. I've always wondered the same thing. I would probably have to guess it's because of their diet. If girls eat a lot of other girls, they'll tend to get a little more estrogen which I guess might help with the size of their breasts. But if they don't...

60. I've been known to be feisty during my life. So I would probably choose the monkey, the only problem is I don't think my mouth is big enough to eat a monkey whole. Unless of course the monkey is just a baby monkey cut out of some 3 month pregnant...

61. I think so. I'm pretty sure Will Smith helped Joseph Smith translate that other bible that the mormons have. Their golden plates or whatever they're called.

62. That's a mighty fine point you make there mister jass. I hope scientists will start listening to reason like this instead of their magical mumbo jumbo.

63. Unless she was on some kind of burf controle last night... HEEEEEEEELLL YEAAAAAH!

64. I guess prostitue urine is bad for teeth.

65. Only if getting titty-fucked by a midget is a crime. Hell yes.

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