I tried to use an air freshener once... bought it off of some shady guy in LA. He told me it would make my house smell like a rotting corpse... well sure enough, it did. I hung the air freshener from my ceiling fan and it spun round and round.
It was later that I found out the air freshener was actually a decaying human corpse, when weeman came over and was like hey Midget why the hell do you have a human corpse spinning around on your fan? I explained what had happened... so he understood why I did it. We were both hungry that night so we ended up eating the human corpse. Never did find out who the dead person was. All I know is that the dead person tasted delicious.
You wouldn't think the government would allow stores to sell stuff that could make you sick but the last 20-pack of Lysol that I drank messed me UP. I'd press charges but I'm too blind to find the freaking court house. Freaking Lysol. Anyway, I've learned my lesson. Now if you'll excuse me I've got some Glade Plug-ins warming for dinner tonight. They smell delicious.
